Funny Dirty Quotes are here to express them to your girlfriends and boyfriends in intimate moments and help you make your intimate moments more loving. We all need some funny dirty quotes and funny dirty phrases when we are in an intimate moment.

We must forget our hard past and shouldn’t worry about our unpredictable future, which is not in our hands; instead, we should live in the present and live our life at best. In this era, knowing some witty, funny dirty quotes and funny dirty phrases become necessary so that you can express them to your partner and enjoy the moments of love. The knowledge of some funny dirty jokes or funny dirty quotes makes you the most interesting person in the room because you don’t let the room bore and dull.

We have gathered and designed several Funny dirty quotes for her and funny dirty quotes for him in different sections, so you can find them easily and share them with your life partners in intimate and naughty time.

100+ Funny Dirty Quotes For your Girlfriend, Boyfriend and life partner

Most people say that we can make our life safe if we don’t do sex; they may be right to some extent, but without sex, life will become unbearably dull and boring. It is the feel and sense due to sex that makes women beautiful, attractive and lovely, although, in reality, they look beautiful only when the moon is blue. And it the sex that make men seem wise and brave, which they can’t be ever.

Life will become so dull and boring if you have a serious nature and don’t talk much, but life can be funny and interesting when you have a funny dirty mind. If you know some funny and hilarious jokes and phrases, then there is no way you will let people bore out of you; you will always make your company interesting and funny. And if you have a funny dirty mind, then you can attract the opposite gender too, and they will love to spend their time with you.

Also Read: Unsupportive Family Quotes

The nature of woman is really interesting. When you treat her well outside of our bedroom, she will become naughtier inside the bedroom and love you most more. You can read some funny dirty quotes for her and funny dirty quotes for him.

The key to a happy and successful marriage is very easy to find. We must not fight and keep our fights clean, but inside the bedroom, we must fight some dirty fights to keep our relationship strong and alive. Like we must not break our life partners heart, although there are no restrictions on breaking her bed.

We all look for a perfect lover and waste our time, but we must perfectly love our partners. We have gathered some funny dirty quotes to motivate you to love your life partners perfectly.

“My mind and body respond to your dirty talks so strongly.”

“What is dirty when it’s being done right?”

“Being dirty is actually my natural state.”

“Dirty is always on my mind. Are you interested?”

“Please wake me up with your tongue every morning.”

“I wish, we’ll be freaky tonight.”

“I love your ‘[email protected]#% ME & LOVE ME’ eyes.”

“Every time I look at you makes me [email protected]#y and bold.”

“Do it again and again because the I love the way you do it.”

“I haven’t had [email protected] in eight months. To be honest, I now prefer to go bowling.”

Lil’ Kim

“I’m a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind.”

Leelee Sobieski

“It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”

Marilyn Monroe

[email protected] is the most fun you can have without laughing.”

Woody Allen

“Kiss me hard & [email protected]#( me harder!”

“No woman gets satisfaction (ORGSM) from shining the kitchen floor.”

Betty Friedan

“Moanday. Tongueday. Wetday. Thirstday. Freakday. Saxday. [email protected]

“Get your @$$ in my bed”

“Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?”

“Your clothes would look nice on my bedroom floor.”

“I just want you to be happy. And [email protected]@d.”

“I’m in my bed, you’re in yours. One of us is obviously in the wrong place.”

“I want to capture you, like this, and freeze it forever.”

“Eyes on me, baby. Always on me!”

“When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.”

“The nicer you treat her outside the bedroom, the naughtier it will get inside the bedroom.”

“My tongue can do a better job of teasing you than my words can.”

“If you kiss my neck, I’m not responsible for what happens next…”

“Roses are red, Violets are blue, I’m using my [email protected] but I’m thinking of you.”

“When it’s so good you’re shaking.”

“Can I have you for breakfast in bed today?”

“I’m a lover, not a fighter. Unless you like it ruff.”

“Your lips are like wine and I want to get drunk!”

“Get your cute [email protected] over here and give me a hug.”

“I have a weakness for you.”

“You can stay but your clothes must go.”

“Let’s make love, then have a h0t dirty time.”

“I promise to always be by your side. Or under. Or on top.”

“I have lovemaking with you a lot in my head.”

“If I was [email protected] in front of you right now, what would you do to me?”

“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a naughty imagination.”

“Black Friday sale. My house. You and I. All clothes will be 100% off.”

“Let’s do some “we shouldn’t be doing this” things.”

“The key to a great marriage – keep the fights clean and everything else dirty.”

“Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.”

“Break her bed, not her heart.”

“I want to taste me on your fingers.”

“I wanna be the reason you slightly tilt your phone away from others when you read it.”

“Respect me. Adore me. Dominate me.”

“Stop undressing me with your eyes! Use your teeth.”

“The best things in life make you sweaty.”

“I need a big, hot, steaming cup of you this morning!”

“You make it kinda hard not to stare.”

“I hope your day is as nice as your [email protected]

“Get out of my head and fall into my arms instead.”

“Dinner tastes better when the dinner is U.”

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.”

Tom Robbins

Funny Dirty Quotes for Her and Funny Dirty Quotes for Him

You can read some Funny Dirty quotes for him and funny dirty quotes for her.

“If a man doesn’t know how to dance he doesn’t know how to make love, there I said it!”

Craig Ferguson

“Your body is the church where Nature asks to be referenced.”

Marquis de Sade

“Desire is in men a hunger, in women only an appetite.”

Mignon McLaughlin

“Take her like it’s the first time and the last time every single time.”


Intercourse is similar to mathematics: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray that you do not grow.

Sex to you is really good that people should commemorate it insurance firms sex.

Your pants, they bother me personally. Just take them off.

That person would look better between my feet.

You mouth shut if you don’t believe in Oral Sex, Keep.

Men are nearly the same as infantsthem up, put your boobs in their mouth, if you want to shut.

Life is much like intercourse, you can lie back and either let it screw you, or you will get at the top and drive the hell from the jawhorse.

Sex does not allow you to be a grownup. Nonetheless it will make you a infant.

This has been an extended time. I want one particular hugs that can become intercourse.

Ladies desire a good explanation to possess intercourse; males simply require a location.

Your clothing would look good to my bed room flooring.

The best section of intercourse is the fact that moment once I look deep in to her eyes and wonder just just exactly what the screw her title is.

I am within my sleep, your in your bed, One of us is within the place that is wrong.

Good intercourse is similar to good connection. If you do not have a very good partner, you’d better have good hand.

Intercourse is more exciting regarding the display and between your pages than in the sack. – Andy Warhol

Could I maybe you have for morning meal during intercourse today?

Kiss me personally a lot. Touch me personally all lick that is over. And in my own unique spot.

Let us settle this argument like grownups: when you look at the room, nude.

Often all that’s necessary is a hug or you to definitely inform you every thing should be okay, or some rough intercourse or whatever…

I would like a straight back rub, a few shots of whiskey, plus some sex that is great.

Unless you laugh during sex one or more times, you are making love with all the incorrect individual.

I do not care I still want to see them if you have small boobs.

14,000 folks are making love at this time, 25,000 are kissing. 50,000 are hugging. And you…well you are scanning this mug.

Just What ladies do after intercourse: 2% Eat; 3% Smoke; 4% Sleep; 5% have a bath; 86% complete the task THEMSELVES;

Constantly start your entire day with a whole lot of SEX: S – mile; E – nergy; X – citement; therefore make SEX an everyday practice, and you may continually be SMILING!

Exactly just What every guy desires is a female by time and a intimate goddess by evening.

Don’t complicate the problem by dropping deeply in love with your pals with advantages. Ensure that it stays easy. In some instances, it is possible to fall deeply in love with your pals with benefits, but it is do not tread that path. This is actually the very very first and foremost guideline of experiencing buddies with advantages. You merely cannot fall in deep love with them come what may.

There are 70 ways to keep a man happy. One is Alcohol..! The rest is 69…..!

Smile… it’s the second best thing to do with your lips.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.

Good girls go to Heaven, bad girls just make you FEEL like you are in Heaven.

Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure? it’s called a credit card.

Viagra is now available in powder form to put in your tea. It doesn’t enhance your performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft.

Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel Its true warmth.

Boobs are like the Sun…you can stare at them directly just for a few seconds. But if you put on sunglasses, stare as much as you want!

I want to suck u, lick u. wanna move my tongue all over u… wanna feel u in my mouth… yep, that’s how you…eat an icecream.

Funny Dirty Quotes for Pinterest

Here you will find some Funny Dirty Quotes for Pinterest with beautiful and attractive backgrounds and images. Some Funny Dirty Quotes for Tumbler, Funny Dirty Captions for Instagram, and Funny Dirty for Reddit.

My legs are missing you in between them.

We live in a world where losing your iPhone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

A cute Nurse came for the interview. Dr: What salary U Expect? Nurse: Rs.10,000. Dr was overjoyed and said: My Pleasure. Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000

I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

Woman without curves is like a road without bends…. You may get to your destination quicker, but the ride is boring as hell.

Girls dont dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time.

In a cramped bus. Lady: Something of yours is touching me. Man: Oh! That’s… that’s just my salary in my pocket. Lady: Did your salary just triple in the last 5 minutes?

I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he can’t watch porn.

Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

I think the woman who invented the phrase “All Men Are The Same” was a chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd.

“There is only one way to fight, and that’s dirty. Clean gentlemanly fighting will get you nowhere but dead, and fast. Take every cheap shot, every low blow, absolutely kick people when they’re down, and maybe you’ll be the one who walks away.”

“If it is the dirty element that gives pleasure to the act of lust, then the dirtier it is, the more pleasurable it is bound to be.”

“He probably would’ve raised an eyebrow in that annoying/hot way he had, and made a dirty joke about Elodie possessing me.”

“The [Five Second Rule] has many variations, including The Three Second Rule, The Seven Second Rule, and the extremely handy and versatile The However Long It Takes Me to Pick Up This Food Rule.”

“She felt dirty, ugly and tired. She felt like a marshmallow heading into a house fire armed with chocolate and graham crackers.”

“When we were arguing on my twenty-fourth birthday, she left the kitchen, came back with a pistol, and fired it at me five times from right across the table. But she missed. It wasn’t my life she was after. It was more. She wanted to eat my heart and be lost in the desert with what she’d done, she wanted to fall on her knees and give birth from it, she wanted to hurt me as only a child can be hurt by its mother.”

“Dick called, but he just left dirty voice-mail messages. Let’s just say if I’m ever in the market for a massage involving canola oil and marabou feathers, I’m covered.”

“We don’t need a point, son. We’re juvenile, we’re dirty, we don’t have girls, we have noses full of snot, throats sore as hell, we’ve got scabs on us, we suffer bouts of acne, we’ve got no girls … What more reasons do we need?”

“Hazardous low blood oxygen levels in high altitude workers is a dirty secret of professional astronomy.”

“If you don’t cut it out, I’m pulling this car over and everyone in the parking lot at Sizzler’s is going to know my name.”

“We must clean the lens of our hearts to see the state of our souls. However, too often the former is too dirty to even know that the latter exists.”

“And he who would not languish among men, must learn to drink out of all glasses; and he who would keep clean among men, must know how to wash himself even with dirty water.”

Which Quote from Funny Dirty Quotes you like most? If these Quotes give you goosebumps. So, share them with your friends and love ones to inspire them and feel the same, and it will be encouraging to hear from you in the comment box below.

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